My Third, “First Ultrasound”

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It almost pains me to write this after finishing up my last post.  Days later the Bahamas was ripped apart and our favorite Home Away From Home was absolutely destroyed.  Still praying for all of those affected by the storm.
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I was so anxious to leave the Bahamas so I could get home and have my blood drawn and get an ultrasound!  My ultrasound was already scheduled but they wanted a good round of Beta HCG draws before I came in.  We flew home on a Saturday and I was in the lab when it opened first thing Monday morning.  After my labs, I took my daughter, Mabel on a walk to keep my mind from driving me crazy waiting on the results.  I had no idea that my Fertility Clinic was going to call me while I was on my walk.  It was still morning!  It was a new nurse on the phone and she said “I just wanted you to know your levels look good and we’ll see you at your scheduled ultrasound”.  What?!  I asked how good?!  What are my numbers and now I’ve started crying.  She says they are 20,000 and some change.  !!!???!???!? I haven’t had over 125!  20,000?!?  She said we were praying that at least one of the three stuck and it looks like maybe more than one did!  Holy moly.  I called Brendan, my mom, and Kathryn and we all were very excited!! Best. Walk. Ever.

Monday June 10, 2019
Brendan and I head to Pensacola for my ultrasound with my bags packed prepared to fly to NYC for a conference with Kathryn.  I was SO ready to have this ultrasound.  We were ushered in and two of my favorite nurses, the new IVF coordinator, a resident and my doctor joined us.  It was a lot of people in a teeny little room!  So the ultrasound starts.  The nurse says “I see one sac”!  Tears start.  “I see two sacs”! Heart starts racing, still crying. My doctor sits down and says before she continues “we haven’t had triplets in this practice in over 15 years, I need to take a seat”.  Umm triplets?!  The nurse said, “I see a third sac but it’s much smaller than the other two”.  After revealing a baby and a heartbeat in BOTH of the other sacs she went on to tell us that the third sac wasn’t viable and I had what was called a “vanishing triplet”.  The overwhelming joy was from when everyone in the room told us “Congratulations! It’s Twins!!”!  Twins! I didn’t know what to think or say or do.  I have to get on a plane now and leave Brendan with this?! Be by myself on an airplane with this news?!  We figured it out and we celebrated all the way to the airport.  I stared at my ultrasound photos all the way to NYC.https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1WInz0_hAvPJ-kmruVRtQqmbQuBMz8yFD
It is important to note that there was a feeling of loss for the third embryo.  The overwhelming joy for the Twins was a fortunate circumstance because I could balance out my emotions.  I have many babies that I will one day be reunited with in Heaven and I love each and every one of them. 

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