Please let there be something wrong..

-
It’s a weird thing to want something to be wrong with you.  Who would wish for their doctor to tell them that they have a condition?  Me.  Why?  If he could give me a diagnosis then there undoubtedly would be a solution!  There would be a cause for all of this misery.  I could use an excuse for why I was experiencing miscarriage after miscarriage.  If it was a polyp we could remove it, if my progesterone was low, we could supplement it, if the lining of my uterus was too thin we could try to fix that too!  The only problem was, after all the testing: the blood draws, the biopsies, the ultrasounds, the hysteroscopy.. There was nothing.  Not one glaring issue. Not even a combination of small issues.  Plus my husband’s sperm was perfect.  So they diagnosed me with Unexplained Secondary Infertility/ Unexplained Multiple Recurrent Loss.  Basically meaning, we have no explanation for why you keep miscarrying.  It’s just bad luck.  BAD LUCK?! 7 miscarriages isn’t just bad luck it’s like living a nightmare.

Here is what my first couple of months at my infertilityclinic looked like.  (Disclaimer, I LOVE my clinic I just had a really hard time with the diagnosis).
https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1YzFaQebrn_sJVwC4Cr8nvPh3GsWVMXa5




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Day at a Time

-
Image
I like to think I'm not an overly anxious person.  When things are thrown my way I handle them or cast them aside but typically don't let things ruffle my feathers too much.  Now, there are exceptions.  Some things will throw me into a complete spiral.  This past Sunday, that's exactly what happened.  It was just like any other day lately.  Me, trying to take it easy.  Not excelling in that department.  I have a two and a half year old, fiery red head.  She's my everything and it takes all that I have not to do everything she wants and needs of me.  I can't turn "mommy-ing" off. That morning, she wanted to shower with me, so in the shower we went.  Midway through my shower I noticed I was bleeding.  I tried to hide it from her, but honestly it was too much to conceal.  She ticked right along playing in her bubbles as I tried as hard as I could to hold it together.  I knew that bleeding was an option.  My amniotic fluid from the day before was pink and I
Read more

Imagine This...

-
Image
We’ve finally come to terms with the clot.  I’m upset that I’m on bed rest.  Like, depressed.  I am an active person.  I need to be moving.  We were going Out West to hike, to be active, to be outside, to spend our last vacation as family of three together doing whatever we want.  I wanted this vacation to spend with my daughter, taking her all over the mountains and running and chasing her and just immersing myself with her.  I needed the vacation with my husband.  Things have been a little tumultuous at home with me being a bit crazy about my pregnancy and work and everything else life was throwing at us.  The last thing I wanted was to be upset before we left.  Problem was, I was upset and I felt so guilty.  I kept telling myself to be happy!  You’re pregnant!  With TWO babies.  Take it easy for them.  You’re doing this for them.  I was so happy about that, it was the rest that was getting to me.  I knew I needed to do my best to swallow my pride and let this vacation be everything
Read more

New Doctor! Gender Reveal!

-
Image
Let me first let you in on how many times I’ve tried to figure out what the gender of my babies are... Before we even transferred our embryos, we had them PGS tested.  As previously mentioned, those tests came back inconclusive.  Had they not, I would’ve had an idea of what genders I would’ve been transferring. At ten weeks, I had my blood drawn for genetic abnormalities and the genders.  I planned a gender reveal for around eleven weeks as I figured that was when my results would come in.  Well, they came in, but guess what?! Inconclusive. They cannot perform the test on those that have a vanishing twin/triplet. Ugh.  They tell us we won’t know the genders until around 16 weeks during an ultrasound. Back up to my last ultrasound at my previous doctors office at 12 weeks... the ultrasound tells us not go out buying pink and blue outfits but that if should could guess by looking at our ultrasound, it was a boy and a girl!!!  Pretty much the whole time we were out West, when we dis
Read more