The Wild Ride of Infertility

We enjoyed a great July 4th and weren’t able to hide my pregnancy from anyone.  With all of the progesterone and estrogen funneling through my body I already had the “progesterone bump”.  I was happy to finally be able to share a pregnancy with family and friends regardless if I was only 10 weeks pregnant!  Everyone pretty much had the same reaction about twins, but I think we expected that!! July 8, 2019 This was my first scheduled ultrasound with Dr. Hood at Sacred Heart OBGYN.  I was excited.  I had developed a great relationship with Dr. Hood during and after my pregnancy with Mabel. I knew she would be so happy for us! We had a great ultrasound followed by a pretty standard doctor visit.  I was told to stay on all of my currents meds until 12 weeks and stay on pelvic rest until then as well.  We were sent on our way and told we would see her again in about a month. Here is our ultrasound :)

June 19, 2019 Although we didn’t know it, this day would mark our last visit at our Fertility Clinic for this pregnancy.  We went in for our second ultrasound and got great results!  Two healthy heartbeats!  The third sac was still visible but diminishing greatly in size.  They told us at the end of our appointment that we had graduated and it was time to start appointments with my regular OB.  Yay!  They were so kind and gave us nice departure gifts.  Our weekly drives to Pensacola were over. Our final ultrasound at New Leaders in Fertility:

It almost pains me to write this after finishing up my last post.  Days later the Bahamas was ripped apart and our favorite Home Away From Home was absolutely destroyed.  Still praying for all of those affected by the storm. —— I was so anxious to leave the Bahamas so I could get home and have my blood drawn and get an ultrasound!  My ultrasound was already scheduled but they wanted a good round of Beta HCG draws before I came in.  We flew home on a Saturday and I was in the lab when it opened first thing Monday morning.  After my labs, I took my daughter, Mabel on a walk to keep my mind from driving me crazy waiting on the results.  I had no idea that my Fertility Clinic was going to call me while I was on my walk.  It was still morning!  It was a new nurse on the phone and she said “I just wanted you to know your levels look good and we’ll see you at your scheduled ultrasound”.  What?!  I asked how good?!  What are my numbers and ...

Not long after my first positive pregnancy test in the Bahamas, we come home from dinner with all of our friends to what I would classify as “Vacation Ruiner”.  I am bleeding.  It’s not a ton, but it’s enough to scare me to death.  I was angry, mad, scared and overwhelmed.  I knew that there was not anything anyone could do for someone at 4-5 weeks pregnant.  I just especially knew there was absolutely nothing I or anyone could do for me on a tiny island in the rural Bahamas.  Luckily for me, I had some of my closest friends with me and they comforted me for the rest our vacation. I only had the one bleed and fortunately was able to speak to my nurse back home and she assured me as long as it wasn’t persistent that it could be perfectly normal. The Bahamas is one of my favorite places in the world. It’s almost impossible not to have fun and relax there.  This was the first time, even after a month of bad weather there the previous year, that I could ...

I know I'm fortunate to find out I'm pregnant in some pretty spectacular places.. Bora Bora in 2015, Destin, Florida in 2015, 2016 (successfully), 2017, and multiple times in 2018, and in the Bahamas in 2019.  Fortunate for the locations, not for most of the outcomes. We were going back to the same house on the same island as we had gone the year before.  The same house I had confirmed yet another pregnancy that was lost. Let's be honest, I was so ready to go to the Bahamas.  Go on a vacation with family and friends after all of the head spinning, hormone induced crazy I had experienced over the past 6 months. My husband and I needed the break. We needed a chance to be us without all of the medication, without all of the stress.  Little did I know how much more stressful this would be.  The day after we arrived it was time to test. May 19th, 2019 I woke up at daylight knowing I was going to test.  Everyone in the house was asleep.  It. Is. Posi...

Here is a list of my meds and my protocol leading up to my Frozen Transfer. May 14, 2019 - Transfer Day! This was the easiest part of the whole process!  We went in, I laid down.  The embryologist gave the doctor the embryos, he inserted them, I laid still for ten minutes and we left. Totally painless.  My doctor was super positive, as were all of the nurses.  It was an awesome moment.  I was officially PUPO.  Not my favorite term 😆 but it means "Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise". Brendan and I right after our transfer! Now, let's go to the Bahamas!

I was told in the days leading up to my Egg Retrieval that my numbers looked great!  11 follicles on the right ovary and 9 on the left ovary.  20 possibilities!  We were so excited.  The administration of the shots and the scheduling was a little nerve wracking (I hate needles) but I got through it and it truly wasn't that bad. April 1st, 2019.  On the day of the retrieval I woke up to find we had 18 Eggs! It was time to start praying.  I knew in the next 5 days I would be told how many were mature, fertilized, day 1, day 3 and day 5 embryos. 24 hours after my retrieval I was told out of the 18 retrieved, only 13 were mature and 11 fertilized.  It knocked the wind out of me but 11, I could be positive about 11! Day 3, there were 7.  I was still holding onto hope! Day 5, there were 4!  FOUR!! I CAN HANDLE 4!!   Then I got the call... while we were taking our daughter to her first trip to Disney World.  "After we...

It’s a weird thing to want something to be wrong with you.  Who would wish for their doctor to tell them that they have a condition?  Me.  Why?  If he could give me a diagnosis then there undoubtedly would be a solution!  There would be a cause for all of this misery.  I could use an excuse for why I was experiencing miscarriage after miscarriage.   If it was a polyp we could remove it, if my progesterone was low, we could supplement it, if the lining of my uterus was too thin we could try to fix that too!  The only problem was, after all the testing: the blood draws, the biopsies, the ultrasounds, the hysteroscopy.. There was nothing.  Not one glaring issue. Not even a combination of small issues.  Plus my husband’s sperm was perfect.  So they diagnosed me with Unexplained Secondary Infertility/ Unexplained Multiple Recurrent Loss.  Basically meaning, we have no explanation for why you keep miscarrying.  It’s just bad luc...

Christmas 2017... Get my Beta HCG draws, never any numbers over 23.  I find out Christmas Eve that I'm miscarrying.  Pregnancy resolves naturally. Keep Trying... 4 failed months of trying.  Trying so damn hard my marriage is struggling because of it.   May 2018... We head to the Bahamas to find out while we're there, that we're pregnant again! Get home to do my Beta HCG Draws.  Almost identical situation to my previous pregnancy.  Never any numbers over 24.  Another Miscarriage... this time I don't know if I can try again... August 2018... We are in Colorado on vacation and I start feeling really terrible.  There's no way I'm pregnant because I just had my period, but I'm bleeding again?  I go take a test.  Positive.  WHAT?  I end up spending that night in the ER in fear of an ectopic pregnancy.  Luckily, it resolved on its own.  Positive pregnancy test are now daunting.  I almost want th...

Thanks be to God!  What an amazing day!! Every single tear was worth this moment! Born via induction, at 9:05pm on December 20, 2016.  8 pounds, 5 ounces of perfection.  21 1/2 inches long.    With red hair!